SURPRISEEEE

Look! I'm updating! And even more, I've got new things to share! (I've been bored this weekend.)

I've decided to start a film diary, you can view it HERE.
Also, material snob and I have a Twitter that will make you laugh, if it doesn't...you're an asshole. You can find us @VodkaVendettas.
And finallyyyyy, I have a Tumblr account. Follow it! vodkaloves (yes, I do like vodka.)

THE END.

wet sheep

While I was running through the downpour that began the moment I and fellow blogger, material snob, stepped outside today (go figure) I looked down at my newly cleaned UGG boots and thought one thing only.

Fuck.

Why is it that sheepskin cannot get wet?
Let's think about this for a second: It's made of sheep. Sheep live outside. It rains outside. What dots am I not connecting here?
I realize that it is treated and whatnot but still.
It's. Sheep.

Perhaps this mystery will be solved one day. I would like to add as a side note that when I Googled "sheepskin" the second "suggestion" was "sheep for sale in Alabama." How did you know, Google? How did you know?

speedy && public trial

I need have to memorize the Sixth Amendment. I can't say I need to. I cannot picture a single situation in which knowing the Sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution is going to save my life.

"I'm going to rob you and murder you UNLESS you recite to me word-for-word the 6th Amendment."

Nope. 

I'm also not going to school to be a constitution connoisseur (yes, the alliteration was done purposefully.) But it's always the things that will help you only in very unique situations* that you have to memorize. Why not have me memorize local cable channels, or the dates of every fight on the Jersey Shore? See these, these are things I need to know.

*I realize if you become President, then this might be helpful.

Hello, Newman.

Once again, I find myself blogging. And why not? I like to write, that is after all, at the core of my major. But what to blog about? Every blog I've attempted written I rambled on and on...and on about my personal life.

But YOU DON'T CARE.

That's ok. I wouldn't either. My life is fairly mundane. So this blog will be different.

I will bitch. I will complain. But most importantly, I will turn everyday events into a sarcastic soliloquy that will make you laugh, albeit sardonically. And if you don't like it, congratulations, all you have to do is click the red X at the top of this box and Voila! I am out of your sight. (If only you could click everyone out of your life this way.)

So read on, creepers acquaintances friends. Enjoy.